| Today people traveling and migrating around the | | | | * finances or money management |
| globe is more commonplace and unprecedented | | | | * family, in-laws, friends, social network |
| than ever before. In the United States our | | | | * social class, racism, discrimination |
| population is becoming increasingly racially and | | | | * spirituality or religion |
| culturally diverse. Telecommunications technology | | | | * parenting, child rearing practice differences |
| and the internet have made connecting with | | | | * sexuality |
| people far away much easier. Along with this | | | | * boundaries |
| increased interconnectivity and intermigration has | | | | The list can go on based on each couple's unique |
| come an increasing acceptance of other races, | | | | circumstances. |
| traditions and cultures, much more so then was | | | | Becoming more aware of our own and our |
| the case a generation or two ago. All of this has | | | | partner's cultural values and heritage can help us |
| led to an increase in intercultural relationships and | | | | understand our differences and begin to integrate |
| makes it much more likely that you will date and | | | | our separate cultural identities into an identity as a |
| fall in love with someone of a different ethnicity, | | | | bi-cultural couple or family. In my work as a |
| from a different culture or geographical region or | | | | therapist, I help my clients explore their values |
| who speaks a different language. | | | | and beliefs, so that they are aware of how their |
| When approached with consciousness and | | | | feelings, thoughts and behaviors are affected by |
| consideration, intercultural relationships can bring | | | | their cultural background. When couples |
| together the richness and strengths that each | | | | acknowledge the cultural differences in their |
| individual brings from their culture. They can use | | | | relationship, they are able to see their interactions |
| their cultural differences as opportunities to more | | | | in cross cultural context and find ways to |
| closely examine their own assumptions and beliefs | | | | navigate them. I also help clients learn to |
| and employ greater critical thought in their | | | | appreciate their differences, and find ways to |
| decisions about what aspects of their culture | | | | honor each person's cultural practices. Each |
| serve them and what doesn't. Ideally, couples | | | | partner may continue to carry on traditions that |
| enjoy the broadening of their world, they may | | | | are important for him or her, or make |
| adopt worldviews and values that are new and | | | | adjustments when those values no longer fit their |
| freeing for them, their horizons widen, their beliefs | | | | current life. Neither partner needs to give up who |
| and attitudes can become more informed, less | | | | he or she is in order to be in the relationship, the |
| rigid and judgmental, and their relationship can be | | | | couple can reach compromises or find balances |
| a path to a more flexible and considered life. | | | | even when they hold opposing or conflicting |
| Though the excitement of a fresh and unique | | | | values. |
| encounter with someone distinctively different | | | | Working with a therapist or counselor with some |
| from us can be stimulating, engaging and exciting, | | | | expertise in the area of intercultural relationships |
| as time goes on, just like every long term | | | | and openness to seeing the value of such |
| relationship, differences between the partners | | | | relationships can help couples to navigate this |
| begin to surface. Just as Intercultural relationships | | | | process. Overall the additional challenges and |
| offer some additional opportunities for growth and | | | | opportunities that intercultural relationships bring |
| development they also face additional challenges | | | | with them require a great deal of consciousness, |
| that arise from each partner's viewing their world | | | | compassion, self reflection and openness to be |
| and the relationship through their unique cultural | | | | managed effectively but these relationships can |
| lens. | | | | be tremendously rewarding when we are |
| Concerns commonly faced by intercultural couples | | | | committed to our partner, our relationship and our |
| can be seen in many areas: | | | | own growth. |
| * values, beliefs, attitudes, traditions | | | | This article is co-authored by Hayden Dover, MFT |
| * language or linguistic challenges | | | | and Joy Tsai Yuan Hung, MFT. |
| * gender roles | | | | |