| We all have problems in our relationships. Those | | | | without taking into account the wrongs others |
| who know how to resolve conflicts are the ones | | | | had done, I was able to identify my errors. There |
| who stay in the relationship for life. | | | | were many. But as I practiced the basic steps I |
| The earth shattering news to me was I didn't | | | | was able to do better, to grow, to learn how to |
| have to be unpleasant in my relationships. I found | | | | get along with others, and that included my other |
| a partner who refused to enter the games and | | | | half. |
| manipulations I learned as a child. When I went | | | | 4. When I realized I was wrong I promptly |
| into my pouty mood, or gave the silent | | | | admitted my errors. In the old days I would insist |
| treatment, or even a cross word, my other half | | | | I was right even though I knew I was wrong. I |
| just ignored me. There were no grudges and as | | | | couldn't be wrong and that was selfish of me. |
| soon as I was willing to clean up my act it was as | | | | Worse, it set me apart from many good souls. I |
| if nothing had happened. | | | | am not afraid of being wrong anymore. Being |
| Because I come from a dysfunctional household, I | | | | wrong is part of learning to grow. |
| learned I needed to use a road map to solve my | | | | 5. Once I had identified my errors I made |
| conflicts and frustrations. Here are the steps I | | | | apologies where I could. It did not matter if the |
| took. | | | | other person accepted my apology. This was not |
| 1. I realized I had no power over my other half or | | | | a trade-off. The apology was made to clear my |
| others in my life. My partner in life had set ideas. | | | | head, to clean my soul, to put things straight on |
| My family was rigid in their thinking. Nothing I could | | | | my side. What others do with the apology was |
| do would change those perspectives. | | | | out of my control. Most were very surprised and |
| 2. When I became angry with my other half I had | | | | began to accept me as a real friend. My other |
| to look at my behavior. I had to leave the other | | | | half was miles in front of me and understood |
| person, my life mate, out of the equation | | | | these principles. |
| completely. What was I doing that was selfish, or | | | | Part of being an attorney is counseling your client. |
| self centered? When I looked at my motives, my | | | | While we are not psychologist, our clients are |
| behavior, my desires, my ego, I often found my | | | | always better if we help them learn how to solve |
| way was not fair or reasonable. The anger was | | | | their conflicts. That keeps them out of future |
| misplaced and selfish or self serving. As a result, | | | | trouble with the law. When they are successful in |
| the anger and frustration started to melt away. | | | | their lives I know I have done my part. |
| 3. When I was willing to look at my actions | | | | |