| This is something I have pondered for quite | | | | the shelf of my mind with the rest of my |
| sometime now..should I write this or let it remain | | | | dreams I let die. You now are wondering why I |
| an illusion in my mind. I live in Eastern Kentucky | | | | stay, how do you change what you have been |
| most of you have probably seen the | | | | accustomed to? is it me or my need to be more |
| documentaries on this part of the nation and | | | | than what I am.There are desires in my soul to |
| wondered if this is reality or a way to get their | | | | have what I know are no way attainable in these |
| "good" story. Sadly I live in this dire place of | | | | hills of deep sorrow and tourment. Life calls out |
| economic and social poverty..for me I see both | | | | to me and I fall to my knees and ask why have I |
| sides I hold a bachelor in Sociology, therefore i | | | | been deserted and left to ask the question why |
| know and understand what lies beneath these | | | | me.. I was once told "what if" was the hardest |
| beautiful hills and wavy blue-grass. "Outsiders" | | | | question to answer, now with out a doubt I have |
| believe in some way the families here choose to | | | | come to fully understand why that phrase is so |
| live this way..now don't get bent out of shape.. | | | | painful to navigate through the mind. one choice |
| some do think this is what life really is. As for me | | | | within us all can set our destiny onto the path of |
| I grew up in Ohio, I have lived in many | | | | happiness or the one to despair. |
| places..none as lonely, impoverished and hid away | | | | Alone I sit on my porch the night is so quiet that |
| from the "real world" as it is here in Appalachia. | | | | only the sound of your heart and thee |
| While pursuing my degree I assumed I would end | | | | occasionally passing vehicle is all you hear. Times |
| up in L.A., Boston or somewhere that offered me | | | | like these is when I reflect most on what I have |
| the chance to be noticed... as a person for my | | | | missed and is still searching deep within myself to |
| individuality or at least my creative | | | | find. Quiet is welcomed at times but not when it is |
| intelligence...again I am not saying that a life like | | | | all you have. Without culture and economic |
| that is not possible here..just in the reality of | | | | stimulus you are lacking what makes this country |
| things it is highly unlikely. I guess you could say I | | | | so diverse. Being in Appalachia has taken my |
| live by thee old catch 22.. In body I am here | | | | dreams like a succubus..it takes and takes with |
| physically.. but in mind and imagination I am many | | | | nothing to offer in return, except the things that |
| miles away. | | | | will drive you insane, such as poverty, the lack of |
| Poverty here is among the highest in the nation. | | | | intellectual conversations "backwoods" teaching to |
| the prescription pill drug abuse here is an | | | | be precise. How does someone like me who |
| epidemic .This is hidden America.. The high | | | | knows they are alien to this kind of life survive |
| school drop-out rate is staggering, this is just the | | | | here and make the best of it.. you don't, you |
| tip of what Appalachia really is. Children here for | | | | ponder every second of the day how to get |
| generations have been "bred" to believe and | | | | out..and never look back. |
| adhere to the teachings of this is what your life | | | | Destined to be in a place that you have nothing in |
| was meant to be. I have seen many kids with | | | | common with. Where you are the outsider as |
| the potential to be so much more than their | | | | people look and stare and say "she thinks her |
| parents and grandparents were...but lay their | | | | education makes her better than us" when in |
| dreams by the way-side..to do what has been | | | | reality I just want to fit in and yet I know I |
| instilled in them what life really is. In these pretty | | | | never will. Then again maybe deep down fitting in |
| green hills lays a dark secret that is kept well | | | | would mean I have come to agree, or at the |
| hidden..the truth of what the kids and families | | | | very least except their beliefs...and to even |
| of Appalachia is all about. In some way I | | | | pretend that is more than I am willing to consider |
| guess the old addage out of sight out of mind is | | | | for any length of time. |
| the nation's motto to this problem.. If you can not | | | | Madness is what I feel when I wake up and |
| see it then it must not exist.now back to me and | | | | discover that once again I am here, and yet my |
| my story... I feel privilidged to have seen both | | | | hunger to be somewhere else is crippled by the |
| sides of America from the educated to those | | | | fact that financially I am unable to change this. Oh |
| who are illiterate (yes) Literacy is a big problem | | | | to know what it is to be set free from such a |
| here in Appalachia. Though if you would have | | | | miserable existence.. here to exist is all you can |
| asked me would I choose to live here my answer | | | | achieve..merely be what you always tried to |
| would be NO. It appears I fell in an abyss and can | | | | escape. Shall I live forever in my thoughts of |
| not find the opening to get out. I feel trapped like | | | | other places..far away places full of rainbows and |
| the walls of life are beginning to suffocate me.. I | | | | faeiries..or is this the life that somehow was |
| wish I could find my freedom path.. not sure what | | | | chosen for me. Destiny is at times cruel to those |
| that is but I know that this is not it. Have you | | | | who ponder on these questions too long, it feeds |
| ever stared out in space and wondered how did | | | | off the needs of individuals who lust after worldly |
| you get to the point in your life where you seem | | | | possessions. |
| to have left all of who you are behind ? Well that | | | | Appalachia In my opinion is one of the hardest |
| is about the sum of it here.. My best friend once | | | | places to raise a family.. everyday is a struggle to |
| said "Appalachia is hell we live here and we are | | | | survive, here people are still without running |
| sentenced for eternity". | | | | water,some have no chance to ever better |
| The wind seems to call me through the trees late | | | | themselves. And those who society has all but |
| at night.. to tell me that my time is now to | | | | forgotten may die at an early age.." Central |
| change what has been inside me wanting to | | | | Appalachia has the shortest life span in the nation." |
| escape for many years.. The chance to live and | | | | "20/20" By KETURAH GRAY |
| be who I know I really am and not a shell of my | | | | Feb. 13, 2009 |
| former being. The inner voice manifests it's self | | | | The above article is based solely on my opinion of |
| when the world is dark, cold and still. Shall I listen | | | | what I see Appalachia as. |
| or excuse it as just another dream to be put on | | | | |