Adrianne Curry in Playboy
You are all lucky that you have me looking out for you
For every Non-Negro woman out there…
I’ve been wanting to ask women out there who aren’t black a question for a long time, but I’m anti-social and avoid talking to anyone that I haven’t put on my “safe to talk to ” list.
I’ve noticed a trend in the last 10 years or so. White women, some asians, Hispanics, indians, whoever, have been swelling up in the bust and ass area. Used to be that black women owned the big ass & tits title. No more. I like to think that a carb rich diet and a lack of exercise contributes to this, but who really knows. So basically my question is this:
If you are a woman who is not black and have a “curvy” figure (e.g. big boobs and a large waist-to-hip) ratio do you notice that a lot of black men eyeball you and try to hit on you?
When I was15 or 16 I was on the high school basketball team and we went on a road trip to Arcata, a very white area. We stayed with a family whose son attended the local high school and was our age. There happened to be a black girl that went to his school that we passed in the hallway one day and to me and my black teammate, who just happened to be Darrell from Road Rules/Gauntlet fame (sorry, that’s my only claim to fame in my pitiful little life ), looked at her and said “Dayam, that girl is thick!” Meaning that she had big boobs with an ass and thighs to match, but wasn’t “OBESE”, and we liked her. Our white friend looked at her and thought that she WAS obese and unattractive. It was then I learned how societies form ideas on what is pretty and not pretty.
So anyway, answer the goddamn question. No one reads this blog anymore so I don’t expect to many responses
Give free booze to homeless drunks
Yeah, this sounds like a really good fucking plan…
Study: Free booze benefits homeless alcoholics
Giving homeless alcoholics a regular supply of booze may improve their health and their behavior, the Canadian Medical Association Journal said in a study published on Tuesday.
Seventeen homeless adults, all with long and chronic histories of alcohol abuse, were allowed up to 15 glasses of wine or sherry a day — a glass an hour from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. — in the Ottawa-based program, which started in 2002 and is continuing
Actually I’m the kind of person that likes to try something different. I’m also the kind of person that values results over bullshit such as politicking and denying people treatment based on moral objections (see pharmacists denying to give people the abortion pill). My philosophy on life can be summed into two short statements. “Stay out of my fucking business,” and “The ends justify the means”.
But seriously, what’s next? Giving crack to crackheads? I don’t necessarily believe in the so-called “slippery slope” but it is a bit odd, yes.
Another note, I fucking hate drunk drivers. I’m scared that every time I drive at night one of these thoughtless, selfish balloonheads is going to run into me. If you drive drunk you are a fucking douchebag and deserve to drive into a brick wall.
Can you handle my truth? (/britneyspears) LOL
Lisa Guerrero Nude
I was wildly disappointed by the Lisa Guerrero pics in Playboy. *rolleyes*
You spend so long wanting something and then you get it and it is such a letdown. C’est la vie +shrug+
Intellectually disabled
1) Dude, did I not get the fucking memo or what because apparently retarded people are now being referred to as “Intellectually Disabled” (ID). I was reading an article in ESPN the magazine about Johnny Knoxville’s new movie called “The Ringer” where he pretends that he’s “INTELLECTUALLY DISABLED” in order to compete in the Special Olympics. The first time I heard the ID phrase used was in that article. Whatever.
2)”Self-employed model” Jasmine Grey is dead. Never heard of her until I went to FUBAR and read about her. She had some nice tits, but really is was indistinguishable from the rest of the teenage/early 20’s self-employed models out there. Your cans will be missed Jasmin
3)Rachel McAdams, the meanest of the Mean Girls in that Lindsey Lohan movie, got caught running around topless. Hooray! Pasty A-cup titties!
Depressing
Good God, if you ever feel depressed and want to get yourself to the point that you’re about ready to commit suicide just take a trip down to your local hospital pharmacy. Crying babies, feeble old people, sickly folks walking around with needles and shit sticking out of their arms looking 1 step away from death. Jesus H. Christ *shakehead*
I know I’m a little late to the party but who has seen the pics of Jessica Simpson’s new Nigga collagen infused lips? Fucking gross. Listen up my white friends, it’s better to keep your pencil thin lips then to get “Trout Mouth” and look like a fucking idiot. Just ask Melanie Griffith or Meg Ryan.
Just one man’s opinion, Meg looked a lot more do-able when she played the pixie/little fairy (not the gay kind ) angle instead of trying for the MILF look now that’s she’s past 40.
In other unrelated news I’m considering becoming a hater of all things Dave Chappelle because he went crazy and scrapped the 3rd season of Chappelle’s Show. Fucker.
Fuck Yeah
Damn I love this shit
Why do crazy people stink?
There seems to be this stereotype about crazy people that they stink. They stink because, well, they don’t bathe. Is this true? Have any of you met any crazy people, and I mean certifiably crazy, that bathed and groomed regularly? I’m curious in knowing if the stereotype is true or not.
Notice how I just asked if the “stereotype” is true? A stereotype by definition is a broad generalization that may be true in some instances and not in others. So instead of a stereotype I guess that I’m asking for verification on this theory.
I certainly won’t disagree with the “crazy people stink” theory. I’ve only met one certifiably crazy person in my life and he used to be my neighbor.
Back in 2000 I was still in school and late in the summer this guy in his 40’s moves into the apartment below us. He seemed normal at first. He introduced himself to both myself and my roommate and seemed normal for the msot part.
Then as time went on we noticed that he started looking really sick. He lost a lot of weight, was really pale and started spending a lot more time in his apartment. Then we noticed that he started shuffling around like sick people shuffle. So we thought he was just physically ill.
Then of course there were the “Incidents.”
Incident #1: I came back to school from a weekend at home. A police car was parked across the street and when the police officer saw me walking up to my apartment she came over to have a talk with me. It was then that she informed me that one of our neighbors across the street had called the cops on Crazy Neighbor (CN) because he was crawling underneath her car looking for “bombs”. It seems that CN was a Vietnam vet and was having a little flashback.
Incident #2: A single mom with 2 kids moved into the upstairs apartment right next to ours (she later moved out with a very ugly & fat boyfriend, but that’s another story). About 2 months after she moved in CN was crawling around under her car in the middle of the night claiming to look for bombs or whatever.
At the end of our lease term I was moving out and on the last day the property management people sent someone over to inspect the place for our final walkthrough. CN had not renewed his lease either, however, because he was crazy did not bother to actually move out of his apartment. I never found out what happened but I sure it was mighty entertaining.
So where does the “stink” part come in. Well his apartment spelled like piss. A lot of piss. The cop who talked to me after Incident #1 told me that she checked out his apartment and there was all sorts of used medical bandages all over the place, so hygeine was definitely not a concern.
I hope to never meet another certifiably insane person, but the odds are against that happening
Frank Caliendo
So we went to see Frank Caliendo @ Cobb’s Comedy Club in San Francisco last night. I thought it was okay, my wife thought he was really good.
The 1.5 hour show was emceed by a black guy who goes by the name of Jasper Red. The house announcer said that he had been featureed on Comedy Central’s “Premium Blend,” but sorry I had never heard of him.
Jasper did a 15 minute set and then turned it over to some Asian guy who I’ve never heard of and whose name I don’t remember. It was around this time that I spilled Vickie’s “drink” all over the table.
We were sitting along the wall and they had set up an elevated shelf sort of thing that’s built into the wall and put barstools along the shelf so you sit there and put your drink or food along the shelf. I reached around to put my drink down and Vickie had put her “drink” right in the path of my elbow. I really shouldn’t call it a drink, it was a cup full of ice with a pitiful amount of flavored liquid included to make it seem like we were getting a soda.
And I also had my question answered, “How do they verify that you adhered to the 2 drink minimum?” The answer: as far as I could tell they can’t. Not unless the waitress is going to hound you and tell you that you need to buy another drink I don’t see how they would have verified that I bought my two drinks. Oh, and those cups full of flavored ice that they served us? 4 dollars. Most expensive ice I’ve ever had, and I’ve been to plenty of ball games where I’ve ordered a soda.
Frank Caliendo did a 45 minute set where he did most of the impressions that he is known for: Bush 43, Clinton, Jim Rome, John Madden and Casey Kasem (as Shaggy from “Scooby Doo”). Most of the set was devoted to Bush 43 and Madden. IMHO the Madden jokes kinda fell flat after the first 5 minutes or so but he kept going to them throughout the last half of the set. The Bush 43 bit was funny and he did that for the first 10 minutes or so and then abandoned it (which was a good thing, because it had run it’s course).
That’s enough about Frank. What really got me was watching the crowd react to the jokes. Maybe it’s me, maybe I just don’t know what’s funny but the people in the crowd were just falling over themselves and cracking up. It was one of the easiest audiences to make laugh that I’ve ever seen. I came in a frame of mind that I wanted to laugh, but you would have thought that all of the comics were the funniest men alive if you had never heard of them before.
But hey, what do I know. Opinions are like as……
Cookies & Playstation
For lunch I had two eggrolls, half a slice of pumpkin pie and 2 chocolate chip cookies. Very healthy.
I’m starting to gain weight thanks to creatine. Well, creatine and pigging out at Thanksgiving.
My wife’s uncle and sister are up here for the holiday. They both live in Southern California; her uncle in LA and her sister in Santa Barbara. They are staying at our place until they are due to leave (Sunday) because we are such gracious hosts.
Oh yeah, I got another check in the mail from the “Adult Site” people. About 50 bucks for revenue sharing. Cha-ching!!!
Against my better judgement I will keep this blog up
Breakfast
This morning I had cereal for breakfast - Honeynut Cheerios. I like the Honeynut variety better than plan ol’ Cheerios because you don’t need to add any sugar to make them sweeter.
When I was younger my favorite thing about Cheerios (I usually had the plan variety) was spooning the sugar from the bottom of the bowl afer I ate all of the cereal and drank the milk. Yummm, tasty.
Cereal Box Archive - where I got the above picture from
Cereality - Some “cereal bar”. I’ve heard about this before.
Topher’s Breakfast Cereal Character Guide - Very nice archive of Cereal box characters.
Raise & Promotion
Last week at work I received a promotion and a pay raise. In six months I get another review with my manager and if I meet my production quota I get another 5%. Oh yes, they have us on production quotas. I actually like that though.
At my previous employ there were no quotas. There were various excuses made as to why there were no quotas but none of them made sense. The fact that we even had jobs made no sense. I worked for a technology company that was employing hundreds of people to perform a manual process that they had not gotten around to making a computerized process. It made absolutely no sense.
Now I work at a place where theoretically we could be replaced by machines but we won’t be in the near future because the company actually values having humans perform the process. Lucky me.
no more links
I don’t think I’m going to keep the “link blog” style format on this blog anymore. It takes too much time, I have a full-time job and quite frankly I don’t want to do it anymore . The spike in traffic was nice though Never did quite understand how that happened. One day I was getting 70 hits a day. Then all of a sudden I started getting over 200. So I decided to try and turn this into a link blog to try and capitalize on all of the traffic. Heh, “all of”. Boing Boing laughs a hearty laugh at my 200 hits a day haha.
We still have the glue traps set for any straggling mice that we had not caught. We’ve only caught that one so far and I think it’s the only one, but better to keep the traps out.
I’m going to go back and play video games now.
reshifting focus
I’m outside on my balcony right now. Two weeks ago when Vickie and I got married I “jokingly” told my bro-in-law that I wanted to borrow his BB gun to cap some pigeons. He said that would be cool. I forgot to take the guns with me. As I’m looking across the way at a pigeon perched on top of the building adjacent to us I wish I had a better memory. Oh wait! Now I see two.
There’s many problems associated with shooting a BB gun around here. Most importantly I think that it’s illegal. Second I have to figure out how powerful this gun is, because even though I’m a pretty good shot on video games I don’t tink I’d be 100% accurate in real life. Where will the BB go when it lands. Well, on the other side of the building where this bird is now perched there is a parking lot. Can you say misdemeanor property damage? I can.
To describe my surroundings currently out here on the balcony. I am sitting in a white plastic patio chair facing due south. The sun is low on the horizon to my right. To my left is the top of our neighbor’s building (we live in a converted condo that used to be an apartment building and we’re on the 3rd floor while our neighbors only have two floors) where the aforementioned bird is perched. To my rear is the living room window. To the front is more buildings and far in the background is a shopping center complete with a Safeway, Blockbuster video, credit union, blah blah blah.
Here on the patio are two plants to my right, a barbeque pit right in front of me, a bicycle, about 7 plant pots and some other crap. The chair that I’m sitting in smells kind of funny. I don’t know how to describe it.
Ealier today I watched the 49ers get the shit kicked out of them. I believe the final score was something like 52 - 17, so they scored 10 points after I stopped watching. When I look at Alex Smith (the 49ers rookie QB) I see Heath Shuler part 2. He is going to fucking suck. Mark my words.
There’s a new pigeon on the building next to us. I want to shoot it.
Big Yank vs. Mice
About 2 months ago we noticed that we had a mouse problem. Our condo was built about 3 years ago on a field inhabited by mice. Just like poltergeists will invade your house if you build on an Indian burial ground, if you build on top of a mouse’s den they will come in your house.
Their entry point was the gap between the wall and the pipe leading up to the sink in the bathroom adjacent to our bedroom. We noticed mouse droppings (mice are just so goddamn stupid, can’t they hide their trail better?) and a bag of Vick’s cough drops that had been shredded. At least the mice’s cough was cured if they were sick.
We thought that removing the cough drops would solve the problem. We were wrong.
Before we left we bought a can of that expanding insulating foam to seal their entry point. We never did get around to spraying it.
My in-laws are our current houseguests (they’re nice, I like them ) and while we were gone they noticed that the vermin had expanded their base of operations to the kitchen cabinets. How they got there, I don’t know. Probably the same way they got into the bathroom.
This morning I come out to pour myself a bowl of cereal. I go to sit on the couch to watch the news and remember that I want to check out something on the Internet, so I go to grab my laptop. As I go to grab it I see a mouse shoot from the corner near the sliding glass door and behind a chair in another corner. “Oh shit!” I scream. Vickie asks me what’s the problem. I told her I saw the mouse. My in-laws both get up to see what the commotion is (this is 6:30 in the morning mind you). Then the bastard runs behind the refrigerator. It’s brown, maybe 4 inches long. I’ve seen his kind in the open field next to our condo complex.
My in-laws then decided that they’re going to flush the mouse out from behind the refrigerator with a long stick. What they plan to do with the mouse after they flush it nobody knew, because no one had a bag or a pot or anything to trap it, just this skinny ass 18 inch stick.
So my father-in-law starts swiping underneath the fridge, down on his belly. Both he and his wife are down there trying to see where the mouse is. Moments later in my peripheral vision I see the mouse do it’s best Jesse Owens impersonation and LEAP from the top of the fridge. Of course my in-laws were not expecting the mouse to launch an aerial assault and my mother-in-law promptly screams her head off and scurries out of the way of the mouse who now runs underneath the stove.
Undeterred my father-in-law pokes under the stove and the mouse runs across the floor and into the 1/4 inch gap between the wall and the dishwasher. He plugs the hole with a folded up paper bag and we leave it. I have no idea if the mouse is still there or if it got free. We’ll find out.
I spent some time at work trying to figure out how to rid myself of this mouse. I wanted the trap that electrocutes the mouse when it walks into this box in search of the food that you bait the trap with. Alas, Wal-Mart or Home Depot did not have it. Instead I bought the plug-in Ultrasonic wave emitters that supposedly screw with the mouse’s nervous system plus 4 glue traps from Wal-Mart for good measure.
I believe in the death penalty for house vermin. This mouse will get no chance at redemption.
Wolf whistling in Peru
On the northern coast of Peru, men are measured not by their car or their clothes or their career, but by the strength of their whistle.
Knowing this, boys make pincers of their hands, tuck them into the corners of their mouths and blow until their eyes bulge. Usually they can emit no more than a disappointing “ffft,” like air sneaking from a tire. But they persist until one day, out comes a whistle so shrill it rings their ears. They keep blowing until the entire block knows that another man has been born.
They soon realize that the most important whistle is one they knew all along: the wolf-whistle. They’d heard men use it — that sharp rise in pitch followed by a fading descent — but until puberty, they didn’t know why.
Wolf Whistling in Mexico
Damn, even the Mexicans are hating on wolf whistlers!!
“WOLF WHISTLES ARE PROHIBITED”
“Guadalajara - Although three workers have already been fired for whisling at women passing by the worksite located at the intersection of Patria and Acueducto, in the capital of Jalisco, outside of the Plaza Pabellón, it appears that the custom of doing so is more important than the prohibition appearing on the notice outside of the building company’s office.”
“PLEASE DO NOT WHISTLE OR OTHERWISE OFFEND PERSONS PASSING BY THIS WORK SITE. WE INVITE YOU TO KEEP YOUR JOB.”
Boo Mexico! Boo!!!
Wolf Whistling in Britain
From Spiked Life: Building new men
This week, building firm Amec introduced a dress code for its workers, in an attempt to do away with visible beer bellies and butt-cleavages - so even in the summer months, poor brickies will have to wear long-sleeved tops and trousers. Even worse, they will be reprimanded for naughty behaviour such as wolf whistling - what a bummer.
Builders’ wolf whistling is something that should be taken very seriously - after all, how will women know whether they’re looking good without the ‘builders’ response’ to go by? When I was at school there was a road that was always lined with scaffolding, and we girls knew that if you didn’t get at least two whistles on the way to school you should probably go home and change. A friend once noticed that she was getting an unusually high number of approving whistles, and realised it was because she had forgotten to put her skirt on. The builders’ response saved her from the embarrassment of arriving at school half-dressed.